Just Give Me A Reason
by Carlos'sCupcake
Summary: Kendall seems distant lately. But is everything as it seems?


**A/N Okay so I heard the song a couple weeks ago and got the idea, and FINALLY decided to sit down and write it. It didn't come out as good as I had wanted it to, but yeah, I like it I guess :) Also, the end is meh, I just couldn't seem to find a way to tie it up and I'm tired hehe.**

I hear him come home and climb the steps, then slip off to the bathroom and quietly slide into bed beside me when he's finished in there. I roll the opposite way so my back is facing him and pretend to be asleep, waiting for the pattern of his breathing to slow down. Once I'm assured he's drifted off into a slumber, I get out of the bed and tip-toe downstairs to the kitchen for a drink of water.

After drinking it down, I rest my hands on the counter and stare out the window at the night sky, taking deep breaths to try to calm the darkness creeping it's way up my chest like it has been everynight for the past month or so. The diamond of my ring shines in the light, catching my eye, and reminding me what I'm losing. Three years ago Kendall and I got married after dating for a year. I felt like the luckiest woman on Earth and just knew that we would be spending together forever; my fairy-tale was finally coming true. In exactly two weeks, it will be our four year anniversary, but I'm not sure we'll make it until then.

Somewhere between then and now, distance has wedged it's way between us and we've drifted apart. We don't talk or communicate like we used to. I've desperately been trying to hold on, to keep the ember inside of me from burning out, but it doesn't feel like I've been doing such a good job with that. I never would have thought when I met him and we were in the young love phase that this would be happening, but perhaps I maybe should have expected it. Kendall is gorgeous and a total romantic, absolutely perfect in my eyes. He's also a popstar, in a band with three other guys; and me, I am nobody special, just the plain jane barista at the coffee-shop who he accidentally spilled his capuccino on and asked me out on a pity date. At least that's what I thought at the time, but we had a lot in common and things just kinda flew with us from then on.

And now over the past month, it seems as if each week, my husband is spending less and less time at home, with the typical excuses of "oh, we had to work late", or "We're going out for a guy's night." I was never the type to rain on anyone's parade, so I just tell him, "Okay", and not question anything. I mean, he is a grown man at the age of twenty two and he can make his own decisions. Regardless, each time I watch him walk out the door, my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach, and I get a gut feeling that the things he's telling me aren't true.

In a way, I can't blame him. I mean, this is pretty normal right...people falling out of love? As I previously stated, I'm the girl next door, there's nothing exciting about me and Kendall has probably finally figured that out and this is what fate has written in the stars for us. Every morning, I wait to hear those words, "I'm not happy anymore", or "This is no longer working out for me". The one thing I fear hearing the most is, "I've met someone else."

I've thought about it so much and have been preparing myself for the moment. I know exactly what I will say and how I will act. I won't make him feel guilty, I'll make it as easy on him as I can. The house and cars will all be his, considering he's the one who works himself to the bone to be able to afford them. I came into the marriage with nothing, and I'll walk out with nothing.

A series of memories plays through my head like a movie as I stare at the moon, and I hadn't realized that I was sobbing silently or that tears had been running down my face, until I hear footsteps descending the stairs. I swallow hard and grab a paper towel from the roll to quickly wipe my eyes and my face, trying to put on a 'normal' face for when Kendall greets me. My heart starts pounding ferociously in my chest, intuition telling me that the time is upon us, that everything has come to it's peak.

My husband's bare feet slap across the tiled floor as I turn on the faucet and fill my glass with more water. I stay facing the sink, feeling my knees weaken and adrenaline rush through my veins. "What are you doing?", he asks.

"I umm...just had some trouble sleeping so I came down for a drink", my voice is raspy, hopefully he'll write it off as sleepy instead of 'just been crying'.

He calls my name and instinctively I turn around, taking in the sight of him standing there in only a pair of plaid sleep pants and adorable mussed up bed hair. I avert my eyes to the floor quickly, inhaling deeply. I love my husband, I'm just as in love with him right now as I was the day we married, and this is going to rip my heart into shreds but if he's not happy with me, I don't want to make him stay. He deserves happiness in his life.

"Kendall", I start, but he cuts me off.

"We need to talk".

Keeping my gaze down, I cross my arms over my chest and bite down onto my lower lip, willing myself to stay strong. I don't think about it, I just say the words that come to my mind. "Just give me a reason."

"What?", he sounds baffled and I bravely lock my eyes with him.

"I know you want out of this marriage. Just give me a reason. You've found someone else. You've lost your spark for me. You got drunk and cheated", I ramble on, hoping he'll just say something to get this overwith as soon as possible.

Instead of saying anything, he steps closer to me, tilting his head slightly to the side. "Why w-"

I interrupt him this time, not able to control myself. "You stay at work late. And most nights you come smelling of alcohol. I understand that you've fallen out of love with me, Kenny", I state matter of factly. "It is what it is and it happens. I'll let you go. I won't hold you back from being happy. I love you that much."

A look of of confusion decorates his face, his nose scrunching up. "Y-you think I...", he trails off and an unexpected sob tears from my chest. I turn away and sprint towards the staircase, just to be caught with his arms around my waist.

"I love you babe", his chin rests on my shoulder and his chest presses tightly against my back, the warmth of his bodyheat inviting against the chill that's seemed into my pores. "I don't want to leave you."

My shoulders slump wearily and my head drops, fresh hot tears working their way out of the corners of my eyes. One of Kendall's arms runs up and down my side and then my arm as he places random kisses over my hair. "No Kenny, I don't want you to feel sorry for me", I choke out when I'm able to, shaking my head from side to side as I try to remove his arms from me and take a step away.

His hold tightens on me, but he spins me around to face him, holding my face in his hands, moving his head until only about six inches separate us. "Listen to me", his voice is breaking. I press my lips together to stop them from quivering. His hands are trembling and panic is dancing around his emerald eyes. "You are the only person for me. I haven't been out seeing anyone else or anything like that, that you might think. I'm sorry I let things kinda...fall apart the past few weeks. I've been really busy with a project".

"You've been acting different. I totally get it, don't try to save face for me. I'll be okay", I try to plead.

Kendall freezes up for a moment, his eyes darting wildly back and forth before clutching my hand and all but dragging me up the stairs. "I've been super busy lately". He doesn't stop until I'm perched on the end of the bed in shock and nervousness while he's digging around underneath of it for something. Seconds later, he pulls out a long, thick tube and pulls a cap off the end, removing a large rolled up piece of paper that he unfolds and lays down on the bed. It's a blueprint of some kind.

"This", he closes his eyes, then opens them back up, and I notice his cheeks are flushed. "Was supposed to be your anniversary gift but I think you need to see it now".

I don't get a chance to respond before he continues. "I'm having a house built, one like you always talk about having. For you...for us. I had twenty acres of land cleared out for us in the country, and you're going to have horses, too. I remember when we first started dating you would talk about how you missed having horses when your family moved here from Kansas. I've been stressing out, working my ass off to get it done in time."

My mouth hangs open in shock. This is true, my family had sold our house and our horses and moved out here to California for my older sister to become an actress. I love riding and don't get to do it very often, but I'm exasperated that Kendall even recalled me talking about this, it means a lot. "I...Are you serious?", I question him, tucking my legs underneath of me.

"Yes", my husband exclaims, resting his hands on my waist. "You deserve everything in life that you've ever wanted, and as long as I'm living, I'm going to make sure you have it all. You're my wife and I took my vows seriously at our wedding. I meant everything I said. I love you more than anything else in this world", his voice softens and he leans in, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear, letting his hand trail down my neck. His thumb skims my skin back and forth, eliciting a sigh from me.

"Baby, I'm so sorry", I come up onto my knees and lean my forehead on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I really thought-"

"Shhh", he coaxes me, draping his arm around my back and holding me to him tightly. "It's all just a miscommunication and you thinking something that's not true."

I nod my head in understanding. "I love you", I kiss his bare chest.

"And I love you too, you know that", he states again, using a voice that's more firm, as if reminding me.

"Yeah", I whisper, and then yawn.

"Promise me something babe?", he asks, stroking my back soothingly.

"What?", I angle my head to place my face in the crook of his neck, letting the feeling of him holding me chase away all of the bad thoughts from the past month.

"Anytime you feel like something is wrong, I want you to come and talk to me. If you have a problem, I want you to come to me with it. We're a couple, we're supposed to work through these kinds of things together."

I run my fingers up the back of his hair repeatedly and reply, "I will. I promise."

"Good", he gently lays back with me still in his arms and kisses my lips, allowing his to linger on mine until he needs a breath. Kendall cradles the back of my head and yawns. "Goodnight sweet pea".

"Night baby, I love you so much", my eyes are far too heavy to keep open and I let them flutter closed, allowing everything from the past few minutes to sink in, marvelling at the snore that comes from my husband. A smile spreads across my lips as I think about how lucky I am to have a husband that genuinely cares about me, knowing deep down inside now that our fire will never burn out.


End file.
